Description
What truly makes a winner? Many people assume that success is something you are born with, that it’s locked into your genes and your destiny is set from day one. This idea, however, is a myth. The journey to success is far more complex and interesting. It is a powerful combination of the fire within you, the world around you, the way you handle power, and the deep, human need to be recognized by others. Understanding these forces is the first step toward unlocking your own potential.
The most important ingredient is internal motivation. This is the drive that comes from within, a personal desire to pursue a goal for its own sake, not for external rewards like money or trophies. This inner fire, or grit, is far more important than natural talent. Look at the story of Ursula Burns. She was born into poverty and faced immense challenges, yet she rose through the ranks to become the CEO of Xerox. Her journey shows that our destinGies are not written by our DNA but are crafted by our own hands, our beliefs, and our simple, stubborn perseverance. We should learn to value the effort and the journey, not just the victory.
However, this internal drive can also become a trap if it’s not balanced with realism. Imagine a high-achiever who has already reached the top of his field. He keeps setting new goals, but as soon as he gets close to one, the finish line moves. He finds himself in a relentless chase, never feeling like he has truly won. This shows that ambition alone isn’t enough. We must set goals that stretch us but are still possible to achieve. This allows us to celebrate our victories and recharge before moving on to the next challenge.
While internal drive is the engine, our environment is the road we drive on. The world around us, and even pure chance, plays a massive role in shaping our success. Simple, unseen factors can tip the scales. Our biology is constantly reacting to our surroundings. For example, there is a type of African fish that can completely change its body and personality in just a few hours in response to a social or environmental change. A surge of hormones transforms it, giving it a better chance to win. Humans are similar. Studies of financial traders in London found a direct link between their morning testosterone levels and their daily profits. Higher levels led to more risk-taking and, often, more success.
You can use this knowledge to your advantage. Being aware of your environment allows you to make small changes that have a big impact. Adopting a “power pose”—standing tall and taking up space—can make you feel more confident. Wearing dominant colors, like red, can also subtly influence how others see you and how you feel. It is also important to be aware of negative environmental factors, like social prejudice. These things can create invisible “glass ceilings” that hold people back. By recognizing these barriers, you can begin to dismantle them and rewrite your own story.
When a person becomes a winner, they often gain power. But power is a double-edged sword. It can make a leader strong and confident, but it can also corrupt them. History is full of leaders who were changed by the power they held. Unchecked power is often compared to excessive alcohol. Both can dominate the mind, impair judgment, and lead to poor or immoral decisions. A person can even become addicted to the feeling of power, which clouds their thinking.
This is why leaders must handle power with great responsibility. One of the first signs of a problem is the “mum effect.” This is when people lower in the hierarchy become afraid to speak up. They stop sharing dissenting opinions or critical information for fear of how the leader will react. A good leader fights this. They must remain humble, actively listen to different perspectives, and surround themselves with people who are willing to disagree. True strength is a balance of confidence and humility.
Finally, we must ask why we want to win so badly. The answer lies in our deep, fundamental need for approval. We are social creatures, and the desire to be recognized, valued, and accepted is programmed into us. Think of the Oscars. Winning that award is more than just a trophy; it’s a powerful “safety signal.” It tells the winner that they are valued, shielding them from the intense stress of public judgment. In fact, studies have shown that Oscar winners tend to live longer than their non-winning peers, perhaps because this validation protects their health.
This intense need for approval comes from our evolutionary past. Our ancestors lived in close-knit communities where their identity was tied to the group. As societies became more individualistic, our “self” became more exposed to criticism. We now constantly seek external validation to protect our self-esteem. The key to managing this is to build your own internal “safety signal.” You must learn to value your own worth, separate from the opinions of others. When you cultivate self-approval, you build a powerful resilience against external judgment. It also helps to value collaborative achievements, celebrating the success of the group, not just the individual.
In the end, a winner is not born. A winner is forged from a combination of forces: a powerful internal drive, an awareness of their environment, a responsible and humble approach to power, and a healthy relationship with their own need for approval.
