Description
Leadership is never simple. It is full of contradictions and hard choices. Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, both Navy SEAL commanders, share lessons they learned during combat in Iraq. Later, they brought these lessons into the business world. What they found is that true leadership is not about being aggressive or passive, but about knowing when to apply balance. This idea is what they call the “dichotomy of leadership.”
At the heart of leadership lies one painful truth: you must care deeply about your team, but you also have to accept that sometimes individuals must take risks for the survival of the group. This was made clear when the authors lost one of their teammates in Ramadi. The decision to engage in a fight led to his death, but not engaging could have caused far greater losses. The same lesson applies in companies. A mining manager once struggled to fire 80 employees he cared for. But refusing would have led to the closure of the entire mine, costing 600 jobs. Sometimes protecting the group means sacrificing a few.
Leadership is also about wisely spending what the authors call “leadership capital.” A leader cannot fight every battle. If you enforce too many small rules, people will stop listening when it matters. In combat, Willink once forced his men to learn how to reprogram radios. That training later saved lives during a friendly fire incident. But when the men created a harmless patch for their uniforms, Willink ignored it. He knew that rule was not worth the cost of enforcing. In business, this means leaders should focus energy on what truly drives results, not petty matters like banning phones in meetings.
Another lesson is about showing people the “why.” Soldiers had stopped wearing their protective back plates because they thought speed mattered more than safety. Instead of punishing them, Willink explained why the plates could save their lives. After hearing this, they wore them again. In companies, employees resist new systems if they don’t see the purpose. When managers explained how data entry could lead to more sales and higher pay, the technicians embraced it. People want meaning, not just orders.
Good leaders must also learn to follow. This is a paradox many struggle with. Sometimes you must submit to your boss even when it feels unfair. One client wanted to challenge his boss’s bad review by going above him. Babin explained that doing so might win the battle but lose the war—damaging the relationship permanently. In another case, Babin chose to follow a lower-ranking sniper’s advice on choosing a building for cover. The sniper’s experience proved right, and the mission succeeded. Leadership is not about ego, but about humility and trust.
Planning is critical, but overplanning can cripple you. Some teams failed because they ignored planning altogether, believing nothing would go wrong. Others failed because they overpacked, overthought, and lost focus under the weight of endless contingencies. The balance is in preparing for the most likely problems and the worst-case scenario, but not trying to predict every detail. Leaders must be ready, but also flexible.
Perhaps the most important lesson is about seeing the big picture. Leaders must pay attention to details but also detach enough to avoid tunnel vision. In one mission, Babin nearly ordered a grenade into a room he thought held enemies. By stepping back and looking again, he noticed that the shots had come from an allied soldier’s accidental discharge. That pause saved an innocent family. Similarly, in business, leaders can get lost in small tasks and forget strategy. Taking a step back—through reflection, retreats, or simply perspective—helps leaders guide the whole organization, not just the day-to-day.
All of these lessons show that leadership is about holding two opposites in tension. Care for individuals, but protect the group. Enforce discipline, but allow freedom. Plan carefully, but do not suffocate the mission. Lead with authority, but also follow when others have the better answer. These balances are not easy. They require constant reflection, humility, and courage.
The authors’ experiences in war highlight these truths with life-and-death urgency. But the same principles apply anywhere teams work together—business, community, or family. Every leader faces the same challenge: how to walk the line between extremes, never falling into one side too heavily.
The final message is clear: leadership is about balance. Without balance, leaders risk either chaos or rigidity. With balance, they can guide their people through danger, uncertainty, and change. The dichotomy of leadership is difficult to master, but once understood, it provides a compass for every decision a leader must make.
