Description
Many people feel stuck in life, coasting along in a job they settled for, a relationship that lacks passion, or a life path they never truly chose. They feel disconnected from the big dreams they once had, and a more hopeful future feels far away. This guide is designed to help you reconnect with those dreams, understand your deepest motivations, and specify exactly what you want to achieve.
The journey begins with getting to know yourself again. It’s easy to get lost in the day-to-day demands of life and forget what you wanted in the first place. To avoid reaching the end of your life filled with regret, you must set aside dedicated time for self-reflection. This process needs to be taken as seriously as any important appointment. It is like meeting yourself after a long absence, reconnecting with an old friend to understand who you have become.
This kind of self-examination can be scary. It requires you to face difficult truths, feelings, and fears you may have been avoiding. You might discover that you’ve always wanted to live abroad but have convinced yourself to stay put. You might realize you’ve put off going to college because you fear financial instability. To understand what truly motivates you, you have to dig below the surface of your mind. Imagine your mind is a winter scene; you must get past the swirling snow on the surface to reach the deep, silent ice cave underneath. In that quiet place, you can get back to who you really are and find the foundation for your dreams.
Once you begin to understand who you are, the next crucial step is to be completely honest about where you are right now. In a famous story, God asked Adam and Eve, “Where are you?” He wasn’t asking for their physical location, but for their mental and spiritual state. You must ask yourself this same question. If you feel like you are floundering, you have to know your starting point before you can move forward.
This takes real courage. It means openly admitting difficult truths, such as “I am stuck in my addiction,” “I am lost in an unhappy marriage,” or “I am just muddling through a boring job.” You can say these things privately, tell a trusted friend, or write them down if they are too hard to speak. Whatever it takes, you must state exactly where you are. Life can be unfair, and it is healthy to acknowledge how low or lost you feel. Once you admit that you are not where you want to be, a powerful shift occurs. Your current situation stops being your final destination; it becomes the starting line for where you want to go. You can stop letting your past define you and start looking ahead with new hope.
With a clear view of your starting point, you can look ahead to where you want to go. When you do this, do not hold back or censor yourself. Be honest about what you truly want, even if it’s a Lamborghini and a villa on the French Riviera. Lying to yourself will only lead to regret. Make a list of all your dreams. Perhaps you want to be an engineer, hike the Pyrenees, or be more generous. Write it all down.
After you have your list, you must get specific. Vague goals will always stay vague. To make a dream achievable, you must define what success looks like. For example, the dream to “be more generous” is too vague. A more specific version would be, “I’d like to set up a food bank in my neighborhood to help those in need.” This transforms a vague idea into a concrete, practical objective. Being specific does not mean you have to limit your ambitions. If your dream is to win a Nobel Prize, you should walk down that path, step-by-step. When you name and specify your ambitions, you will feel a new horizon opening up, full of purpose.
Now that you have a list of specific goals, you need to sort through them. You will have small, medium, and large dreams. You need to vet these ambitions, sorting them by their importance to you and their feasibility. You will naturally want to focus on the big, meaningful goals, but there is value in the smaller ones, too. Achieving a lesser ambition, like learning to roller skate, brings pleasure and a sense of gratification that can give you the boost you need to keep pursuing your bigger dreams.
As you vet your dreams, ask yourself important questions. Will this dream last? Will it still matter to you in ten years, or in one hundred years? A flashy sports car might seem important now, but will it mean anything later in life? Does your dream help other people, or is it all about you? While personal goals are fine, the deepest sense of fulfillment usually comes from improving the lives of others. Also, ask yourself what you want to be remembered for. Thinking about your legacy is a good way to choose your most important dreams. Finally, ask if your dream is possible. While you shouldn’t give up just because a dream is difficult, you must acknowledge that some things, like a round trip to Jupiter, are not currently feasible.
Just as you get ready to start, you will likely hear a little voice inside your head. It’s the voice of your limiting beliefs and fears. It says, “You’re not good enough,” “You’re not smart enough,” or “You’re going to fail.” If you want to make your dreams a reality, you must confront this voice. The first step is to identify these fears. The next step is to understand where they came from. Often, they aren’t yours; they are echoes of an old teacher, a parent, or a bully. Once you identify the belief and its source, you can acknowledge that the belief is the problem, not you. This will free you to move forward.
Finally, you must be audacious and persistent in taking action. You cannot dream forever; eventually, you must take the first steps, even if they are difficult. Being audacious means asking for help, even from people who seem out of reach. If you want to be a novelist, email your favorite writer. The worst that can happen is they say no or don’t reply. What’s worse is not even trying. When you don’t get a response, don’t be discouraged. Be persistent. A man named Ryan Graves once saw a vague tweet from a small start-up looking for help. He replied, “Here’s a tip. Email me.” That company was Uber. He became one of its first employees and, eventually, its CEO. He was bold and persistent. As you pursue your own dreams, remember to also make time for family and friends. Without those meaningful relationships, even the highest achievements can feel empty.
